A Long Time Coming

ALTC Chapter One

Heart's Passage

No Ocean Deep

Infinite Possibilities

Cate's Home Page

She reached forward and punched the buttons on the car’s CD player, dialing up her favorite rock song and turning up the volume. If any one of her many clients could have seen her at that moment, they would hardly have believed the windswept blonde singing along to Queen and the cool, elegant therapist were one and the same woman.

Just the way I like it, she thought as she swept around the long curve just before her exit. Now if I could just figure out what to do about Shelby. She dipped down off the freeway and slowed to a respectable speed as she wound her way through the suburban streets. Maybe I’m wrong to be thinking anything about Shelby, she considered. I don’t know for sure how I feel, after all. Let alone what I want to do about it. A fleeting memory of Shelby’s wide-open gaze, up close and personal, warmed the pit of her belly. Well, maybe I know what I’d like to do about it.

She hissed as a cat flew out from beneath a hedgerow, streaking across in front of her and causing Sarah to brake and swerve sharply.

“Goddamnit,” she muttered, accelerating away again, heart pounding a mile a minute. The rush of adrenalin petered out and Sarah felt a wave of weariness taking its place. It’s been a long week, and there’s too much to do tomorrow, she thought.

She pulled into the driveway of her home and reached for the garage door remote control, activating the mechanism as she rolled forwards. Within a couple of minutes she was tossing her keys on the dining room table and greeting Rufus.

Sarah bent down to pick up the big black cat, who immediately settled against her shoulder, head-butting her.

“Hello, you,” she said. “Hungry?” His answering purr said it all and she chuckled. Rufus was horribly spoiled, largely because he had perfected the art of wrapping the two women around his little feline finger. He had feed bowls in both parts of the house and made the most of his ability to win sympathy from both his mistresses. As a result he was bordering on tubby. “Come on, then, let’s see what we can give you.”

Sarah walked into her spacious kitchen, the black cat now draped across her shoulders and around her neck. “Has your mama fed you today, boycat?” she asked. There was no answer from Rufus, other than his usual deep purr. “Hop down,” she said as she bent down to pour fresh kibble into his bowl. “Spoiled rotten, that’s what you are.” She gave the preoccupied feline a wry smile, knowing very well that he was probably wolfing down his fourth or fifth square meal of the day.

“And I’m sure mama will be giving you something when she gets home, too,” she said. A thought occurred to her. “Assuming she’s not otherwise occupied, of course,” she muttered, disturbed by just how much she didn’t like that possibility. I really don’t want to think about her with Karen, right now. Damn.

*****************************

“So come on, tell me all about it.”

Shelby looked at Lynne, one eyebrow raised sardonically. “Tell you all about what, Lynnie?” she retorted. “Current affairs? Sport? Politics?”

They were sitting in a corner of a very crowded living room. One of the principals in the show had agreed to host the party and it appeared to be a full house. Actors, musicians, crew and administrators had taken the drive out into the suburbs and by 3am were well-oiled, happy and loud. Lynne and Shelby were practically yelling at each other to be heard over the dance music.

“Don’t play silly buggers with me, Shel,” Lynne shouted. “I want to know all the gory details of your love life, and don’t step over the good bits.”

Shelby laughed. “I don’t have a love life, and you know it,” she replied. “I’m on sabbatical from love.” She took a long swig of her Coke and glared at Lynne, daring her to continue the line of questioning.

But Lynne was oblivious to that kind of subtlety, especially when she was on a mission to dig up gossip, and doubly so when she had a few Lemon Ruskies under her not inconsiderable belt.

“That’s bullshit, Shelby,” she retorted, her words slurring only slightly. “From what I’ve seen so far tonight, you’ve got more than one card on the table.”

Shelby remembered suddenly why it was a drag to be the only sober one in a roomful of drunks. “What the hell are you talking about, Lynne?” You know damn well what she’s talking about, Shelby, you fraud. She squirmed in her chair just a little. Oh, shut up.

“Come on, quit holding out on me,” Lynne insisted. “Karen over there,” she gestured towards the willowy deputy stage manager who was doing a fair impression of Britney Spears in the middle of the room’s makeshift dance floor. “Is clearly hot for you, and from what I saw of the lovely Dr Headshrinker tonight, she’s up for it as well. So, come on, what gives?”

A headache sprang from nowhere to reside between Shelby’s eyes. She pressed the cold, wet glass of the Coke bottle against her forehead and sincerely wished there was a way she could get out of this conversation.

“Lynne, Karen is sweet and funny and I like her a lot, but there’s nothing there that I want to … follow up on, okay?”

Lynne looked at her steadily. “Okay. I think you’re nuts. I mean, look at her.” Both women watched as Karen, her long hair flowing behind her, spun around in a dance in the middle of the floor. There was no questioning the young woman’s beauty and wildly attractive personality. “But okay,” Lynne continued dryly. “I can see that there’s no appeal there.”

“Oh shut up. She’s gorgeous and we both know it.”

“And like I said, she’s hot for you, babe. Big time.” Lynne grinned at her friend’s discomfort.

“Lynne,” Shelby growled.

“What about the good doctor, then?”

Shelby groaned. “You’re not going to leave this alone, are you? You’re going to be relentless until you get the answer you want, right?”

Lynne’s eyes widened and she nodded vigorously. “You got it.”

How do I get into conversations like this? I’m not sure I’m ready to even think about this stuff, let alone talk about it with anyone other than Sarah. “There’s nothing to tell, Lynne. She’s my therapist.” What a great excuse.

Lynne laughed so hard Shelby thought she was going to rupture something. “You are so full of it, you know that right?” Shelby slumped back in her chair, letting her head rest on the back of it. “You have been talking to me about this woman for years, and we both know she hasn’t been your therapist for … what? Four years, now?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Yeah, yeah nothing. It matters, Shelby. You can’t use that as an excuse anymore.”

Shelby turned her head and looked at her friend. “I’m not using it as an excuse.” Bullshit. “But it complicates things, you have to admit.”

Lynne sighed. “I’m not admitting anything, kid. You just want it to be complicated.” She grinned. “Seriously, what’s holding you back?”

Shelby was beginning to regret telling Lynne about her close encounter with Sarah the week before. I should have known she would blow it out of all proportion and hound me about it, she thought. “A whole bunch of things,” she muttered.

“Like what?”

Now it was Shelby’s turn to sigh. “I’m not ready for a new relationship.” That at least was the truth.

They fell into silence as Lynne contemplated her comeback to that. “It’s been five years, Shel.”

Shelby closed her eyes and allowed the well-buried pain to wash through her for just a moment. Amanda had been the heartbreaker, the one she thought she would be spending the rest of her life with. And for seven years it had been perfect. And then suddenly it wasn’t.

“You know how I felt about her.”

“Yes, I do, better than most, probably. Except Sarah, of course,” Lynne said softly. “But I don’t want to see you alone and miserable any longer.”

“I’m not miserable,” Shelby refuted. And that was also the truth. She had actually found a great deal of contentment, if not happiness, in her solitary life since the awful year she had spent getting over her break-up with Amanda. And a lot of that is down to Sarah. “I’m also just not willing to get into all of that right now. I don’t think.”

Lynne smiled. “But you’re not sure.”

“Right now I’m not sure about anything too much, especially about Sarah.”

“Ah-hah! So you admit it then,” Lynne said triumphantly.

Oh good grief. “Admit what?”

“That there is something going on with Sarah.”

“Lynne, I’m about to turn 38, not 138. What the hell is the rush?”

Shelby was saved from further circular argument by the sudden arrival of Karen. The brunette landed hard in Shelby’s lap and immediately locked lips with the surprised stage manager. The kiss was deep and left little to the imagination. By the time Karen broke the embrace, Shelby was dizzy and lightheaded.

“Hiya gorgeous,” Karen burred.

“Uh, hi there,” Shelby replied, a grin splitting her face despite her best endeavors. Why does she have to taste so good? She groaned internally, disconcerted by her body’s reaction to the kiss.

“Come and dance with me,” Karen implored, scrambling out of Shelby’s lap and pulling her up. “It’s time to samba, baby.”

Shelby caught Lynne’s eye and shrugged helplessly before allowing herself to be lead away into the melee of dancers in the middle of the room.

“Oh no, you’re not ready,” Lynne giggled to herself as she watched her old friend get down and dirty with the deputy stage manager. “Much.”

*****************************

The party had been closer to Shelby's place than Karen's so it had seemed logical to bring the deputy stage manager back home for a night on the couch, rather than dragging her across town. At least, it had seemed logical at the time. With Karen's damn-near dead weight dragging down on her right shoulder as she pulled the younger woman up the driveway towards her front door, Shelby suddenly wasn't so sure anymore.

“Should have just poured you into a taxi,” she muttered, knowing that her words were pretty much wasted on Karen.

“Huh? Wh-wassamatter?” Karen's eyes fluttered open and for a moment she almost seemed capable of taking all her own weight on her feet. “Hey, Shel, how's it goin'?” A dreamy, silly grin gave some much-needed life to Karen's otherwise washed-out face.

“Ssssshhhh, for Christ's sake,” Shelby whispered. She was very conscious of the close proximity of Sarah's bedroom window one floor up and to the right of Shelby's door. Last thing I want to do is wake her up.

It was just before dawn, and the light was still murky grey. Shelby knew Sarah would likely be awake soon anyway, but there was something deeply uncomfortable about the thought of her friend seeing Karen following Shelby inside.

Don't really want to think about that right now, Shelby admitted to herself.

“Aw c'mon Shel, don't be a spoilsport,” Karen slurred, pushing herself up and away from Shelby. She spun around in a very wobbly pirouette, her arms waving dangerously close to Shelby’s face.

“Oh, come on, Karen, give me a break,” Shelby implored as she tried to grab hold of the wayward woman.

“Shhhhhh,” Karen said in the loudest stage whisper Shelby had ever heard. But then it got worse. “There's a kind of hushhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ALL over the worrrrrrrrrrld, tonight,” Karen bellowed. “ALL over the worrrrrrrrrld, you can hear the sounds of lovers in LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE.” Karen spun away across the front lawn, narrowly missing Sarah's prize roses.

“Oh fuck, shoot me now,” Shelby groaned.

*****************************************

Sarah lay in the dark, listening to the sounds of Shelby's struggle with Karen on the front lawn. The truth was she had been only lightly dozing, her sleep disturbed by swirling, frustrating dreams that she couldn't really pin down. It had been the sound of Shelby's car door slamming that had woken her completely.

Sarah lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. It was barely light, but there was enough illumination to let her get her bearings. It was hard to ignore the singing coming from below. She knew it wasn't Shelby – she had heard enough of her friend's warm alto in full voice to know that Shelby couldn't sound that bad no matter how drunk she was. So she could only assume it was Karen.

Big assumption, Sarah, she reminded herself. It could be anybody from the party, after all. She snorted softly. Then again, I know who my money's on.

It was a strange feeling, acknowledging the small twinge of jealousy she felt. I didn’t expect that.

There was a sudden end to the singing and Sarah thought she could hear more hushed conversation from just below her bedroom. Then Shelby's front door slammed. Sarah found herself smiling into the gloom, despite her misgivings about Shelby's company.

Whoever it is, it sounds like Shelby’s got her hands full.

Sarah turned on to her side and curled up, her hands pillowing her head. She could feel Rufus settling himself against the back of her knees and she smiled at the warm softness of the boycat. With Shelby out most nights of the week, it wasn't unusual for the feline to seek out Sarah's company, but usually he made a beeline for Shelby's bed once she was home. Not tonight, apparently, Sarah thought morosely. Maybe he knows something I don't.

“Tch, get over it,” she muttered, before closing her eyes again, determined to get a little more sleep before her Sunday began.

*************************************

“You gonna make me sleep on the couch, Shel?”

The brunette was sprawled across the aforementioned piece of furniture, resting back on her elbows while she looked up at Shelby through long lashes.

Jesus. Shelby put her hands on her hips and looked back. There was no doubting Karen's beauty, and Shelby had known her long enough to be well-acquainted with the warm personality and sharp intelligence beneath the surface.

She liked Karen. A lot. But right now, the younger woman – too young for you Shelby-girl – was a sloppy mess.

Cute, but a mess.

“Yep, I am,” Shelby said aloud.

“Awww, come on, don’t be like that,” Karen pleaded. “I promise to be good.” She grinned in a way that didn’t convince Shelby of her sincerity. She held up two fingers. “Scout’s honor.”

Shelby chuckled. “It’s a comfortable couch, Kar,” she said. “You’ll get a great night’s sleep on it, I promise.”

Karen pouted. “Don’t want a good night’s sleep. Want to curl up with you.”

Well, there ya go, Shelby. If you had any doubts before about just what her intentions were towards you, there can’t be a lot of it left. Shelby let out a long, slow breath. She felt a strange sense of pressure at the back of her neck, and she wondered if it wasn’t all getting a bit too complicated. She was quite thankful Karen was drunk, in the end, because it meant she had an excuse for not taking this any further. An excuse that had nothing to do with Sarah and the confusion Shelby felt about her.

“That’s sweet, babe,” Shelby replied to the waiting Karen. “But I make it a rule not to take advantage of the young and intoxicated.” She smiled to take the edge off the rejection.

“What about the young and sober?” Karen asked cheekily.

Oh, you’re drying out with every passing minute aren’t you? Shelby thought. I’m going to have to keep an eye on you. “Well, we’ll talk about it next time you’re sober,” she said calmly.

“Promise?”

Shelby sighed, not really wanting to think about when that conversation might be. “I promise.”

“Okay.” And with that, Karen curled into a ball on the couch. Shelby walked down the corridor towards her bedroom and opened the linen cupboard, pulling out a blanket and two pillows before turning back. She found Karen already asleep, a low snore puffing out her cheeks.

Shelby crouched by Karen’s shoulder and gently lifted the sleepy head, sliding a pillow underneath. The other she tucked behind the small of Karen’s back. She flicked the blanket out and laid it over the long body, tucking it under Karen’s chin. Shelby wasn’t sure exactly how old Karen was – about 25 she thought – but she looked about 11 as she slept peacefully.

Shelby brushed an errant lock of hair off Karen’s forehead and let her finger linger against the younger woman’s temple. Any other time, Karen. Any other time. Shelby sighed. Drunk or not, Karen was attractive, available, and, she suspected, relatively uncomplicated. But something deep in the back of Shelby’s brain was stopping her from taking Karen up on her offer. She couldn’t get Sarah out of her head.

Shelby leaned forward and lightly brushed lips across Karen’s forehead. “Goodnight, kid,” she whispered.

**************************

It had grown into a beautiful, warm day. Sarah sat on her verandah, her laptop open on the small table in front of her. She sipped from her glass of iced tea and reread the report in front of her.

A large part of Sarah’s practice involved consultant work for various lawyers around town, assessing clients who were usually on trial for violent crimes and sexual offences, or both. It was an aspect of her work that she adored, but it did mean many hours spent writing and rewriting her carefully worded reports on the weekends.

The work had the power to make Sarah forget the passage of time, some days, and this morning had been one of those moments. She had started reworking one particular report over breakfast and now it was close to noon. Her concentration had been helped along by the complete absence of any noise from the lower storey of the house. In the end it was her stomach rumbling that made Sarah lift her head.

With a sigh she stretched and rubbed the back of her neck. I’m hungry, but can I be bothered getting up and organizing something to eat, she pondered. Sarah glanced at the screen of her laptop, re-reading the last few sentences she had written. It was enough to suck her back into the process, her empty stomach forgotten, at least for the moment.

***********************************

Shelby drifted awake as the bed moved behind her. Part of her brain knew that either Rufus had gained a lot of weight overnight, or Karen had just climbed in with her. She wasn’t awake enough to do anything other than sigh and flutter her eyelashes, however, so when a long, lean arm snaked around her waist and pulled her back into a warm lap, Shelby didn’t put up much of a fight.

Don’t mean nothing, her mind reassured her. We’re just snuggling. No, really, we are. For a few seconds she allowed the pleasant sensations to touch her, the unfamiliar feel of another human against her back a sweet reminder of just how long she had been alone. Nice. Confusing, but nice.

Karen moved slowly against her and it wasn’t long before Shelby felt the unmistakable touch of soft lips on the nape of her neck. Also hard to ignore were the tingles that radiated out from the point of contact.

Imagine how much better it would feel if you knew it was Sarah’s lips. Shelby’s eyes flew open. The thought had come unbidden but clear as a bell and Shelby felt the bottom drop out of her stomach. “Karrrrrrrennn,” she growled, trying to decide whether to try to push all thoughts of Sarah from her mind, or Karen from her bed.

“Mmmmmm?” came the answering rumble from behind her.

“You promised to be good.”

Karen chuckled, her breath warm on the edge of Shelby’s ear. “I promised to be good last night. This is this morning.” Her hand made a move towards Shelby’s breast, but the older woman intercepted her, pulling her hand away and clasping it to her stomach.

“This morning is early afternoon, if I’m not mistaken, and last night was this morning,” Shelby said, confusing herself.

“You think too much, Shelby,” Karen burred, laying another line of kisses down Shelby’s neck, ending just above the collar of her t-shirt.

Shelby groaned inwardly, trying to ignore the strong physical reaction she was experiencing. “Don’t you even have a headache?” she said. “You were wasted a few hours ago. I have one and I was drinking Coke all night.” She could almost feel Karen grinning.

“Nope, I feel great,” Karen replied.

Yes, you do, Shelby agreed. Ah, youth. I remember when I used to be able to party all night and still wake up wanting more. “Karen?”

“Yesssssssss?”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-three.”

Holy mother of God. Shelby winced. Worse than I thought. “You do realize that I am 15 years older than you?”

Karen laughed out loud and pulled Shelby until she had to turn on her back, the younger woman leaning over her.

“I don’t care how old you are,” Karen said, her smile softening as she met Shelby’s eyes. “You’re hot, Shel, and we could have a lot of fun together. Don’t you want to have some fun?”

Yes, yes I do, but … “It’s not as simple as that,” Shelby said quietly.

Karen leaned closer. “It could be if you just let it be,” she insisted. “What are you afraid of? It’s not like I’m asking for any big commitment.”

Shelby smiled, recognizing just how much difference 15 years could make to a woman’s attitude to romance. She wondered how to explain that she just wasn’t wired for one-night stands, and that commitment would have been easier to accept than a meaningless roll in the sack, no matter how playful it might be. “I know,” she replied.

“So chill out,” Karen said as she pressed closer, kissing the corner of Shelby’s mouth with tantalizing care.

Oh boy. The voice in the back of Shelby’s head kept telling her she was making a mistake, but it was hard to hear over her body yelling at her to let things take their natural course. With only a fraction of a second to decide, her body won out, and she found herself responding to Karen’s gentle explorations.

It felt good, very good. Karen’s tongue was soft, warm, and far more polite than Shelby had somehow expected. There was a tentative quality to the kiss that told Shelby the younger woman was less confident than she appeared. Somehow, that made it easier for Shelby to respond and soon she was deeply involved, her arms finding their way around Karen’s waist and pulling her closer.

How long is it since I kissed someone, she found herself thinking. Karen’s body was a warm weight along Shelby’s right side. Too long. Way too long. Karen’s leg slipped between her thighs, pressing more insistently. Shelby heard herself groan against the contact.

What if Sarah hears us? Shelby’s heart jumped as Karen’s mouth left hers to trail a string of kisses down her neck to her collarbone. Jesus, shut up, brain, shut up. Desperately she tried to focus on what was happening, tried to get lost in the sensations. Karen was humming softly as she worked her way back to Shelby’s mouth and was clearly enjoying herself. Why can’t you be like that, Shelby? Just concentrate for God’s sake. It feels good, go with it, damn it.

Karen’s hand found the bottom edge of Shelby’s t-shirt and her hand began a meandering journey up the older woman’s side, until gentle fingertips brushed the outside edge of her breast.

Oh god, Sarah, that feels so good.

Shelby’s eyes flew open when she realized what she was thinking and she knew it had to stop. Quickly she began to squirm away from the young woman’s touch. “Karen, stop. Wait, please,” she said breathlessly.

Karen’s head lifted, her eyes glazed with desire. “Wh-what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” She pulled back rapidly.

“No, no, nothing like that,” Shelby replied breathlessly. “Far from it … I just ...”

Karen stared at her, looking perplexed by the sudden reversal in proceedings. Shelby felt a stab of guilt even as she scrambled away and out of the bed.

“I just … need … not to do this right now,” Shelby said hurriedly. She looked down at the frustrated and confused woman sprawled across her bed. “I’m sorry, Kar, honestly. I just can’t do this right now.”

Karen propped her head on her hand and frowned up at her. “Is it me?”

“No. God no.” Shelby sat down on the edge of the bed, suddenly completely disconcerted by her rapid change of mind. “You’re …” She laughed softly as she took in the length of Karen’s near-naked body. “You’re gorgeous. And that was very … very … enjoyable.” She sighed as residual tingles coursed their way through her.

“Then what?” Karen asked. She rolled onto her back and put her hands behind her head, watching Shelby expectantly.

I really need to talk to Sarah, Shelby realized. I can’t do anything with anyone else while we have this … this … what? … potential? Between us.

“Karen I don’t really know what to tell you,” she said aloud. “I’m sorry.”

Karen sighed. “No, it’s not your fault. I guess I should have taken you seriously when you said you wanted me to be good.” She grinned and Shelby felt a wave of relief.

“Mmmm, maybe so. But I wasn’t exactly pushing you away for a while there, was I?”

Karen chuckled and then became serious again, looking directly into Shelby’s eyes. “So is that it? Or do I have any chance of persuading back into bed?” She patted the still-warm spot Shelby had recently vacated.

“Not today,” Shelby confirmed.

“But not never?”

Shelby smiled. “I just need some time to work some things out, okay?”

Karen tilted her head, clearly thinking about what Shelby was saying. “Okay,” she replied slowly. She sat up, wrapping her arms around her knees and smiling back at Shelby. “You’d better call me a cab, then, I guess.”

“You’re a cab,” Shelby retorted, relieved that she had at least managed to soothe Karen’s ruffled feathers. Now all I need is a cold shower to smooth mine, she thought.

******************************

Sarah lifted her head when the taxi pulled up in front of the house. Almost immediately she heard Shelby’s front door open and seconds later the two women walked out from under the shade of the veranda and across the lawn.

Shelby and Karen were more or less the same height and although both had dark hair that hung below their shoulders, Karen’s was black, while Shelby’s carried auburn highlights that caught the afternoon sun.

As Sarah continued to watch, Karen leaned closer to Shelby and slipped her hand through the crook of the older woman’s arm. Although she couldn’t hear the conversation Sarah could see that Karen was speaking intently. Shelby’s head was cocked towards her friend, in a listening posture.

Sarah didn’t quite know what to feel. Whatever had happened between the two women the night before, they were clearly closer for the experience. With a sinking feeling, she watched as Shelby opened the back door of the cab. Karen reached up and cupped Shelby’s cheek with one hand, and Sarah could see the smile on the young woman’s face.

Whatever you’re saying, Shelby, you’re charming the socks off the women, as usual, Sarah thought, with a wry smile. Shelby leaned in and kissed Karen lightly. Oh, I think you may have missed your chance, Sarah admonished herself. She dropped her eyes as the kiss lingered, surprised to feel a lump in her throat. Damn.

*****************************

“So, do you forgive me for being pushy?” Karen asked as Shelby opened the car door for her. She leaned on the door as Shelby moved closer, the door between them. Shelby’s answering grin was a welcome answer.

“Of course,” Shelby replied. “It’s hard to be mad when someone as gorgeous as you crawls in to my bed. Apart from anything else, it’s incredibly flattering.”

Karen smiled back and reached up to cup Shelby’s cheek with the palm of her hand. “You really are a sweetie, you know?” Her thumb brushed across Shelby’s skin gently. “I think I’d like to wait around and see what decision you come up with. Is that okay?”

Shelby smiled softly. “It’s not like either of us are going anywhere,” she said. It was hard to resist leaning into Karen’s touch. “And thank you for backing off when I asked you to. I know I left you hanging.”

Karen shrugged and withdrew her hand slowly. “There are worse ways to be left hanging,” she laughed. “I’ll see you Tuesday afternoon?”

Shelby nodded. “Mhmm. I’ll be there.” She ducked her head and kissed Karen, happy to let the younger woman take the kiss over and dictate the pace. Whatever else she was feeling, Shelby was enjoying the intimacy of physical contact. “Get some sleep,” she murmured when Karen finally withdrew.

“You too,” Karen replied with a smile. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

Karen climbed into the back of the taxi and Shelby waved as it pulled away from the kerb. As she watched it disappearing down the street, she tucked her hands in the pockets of her loose-fitting pants and contemplated the events of the morning.

“Jesus, Shelby, you gotta get your shit together, here,” she muttered. I mean, what the hell am I thinking? She turned and walked slowly back towards the house, her eyes downcast. Karen’s smart, attractive, available – and young, god, she’s so young – so, why on earth am I fighting it?

“Good afternoon.”

Shelby’s head jerked up and she was treated to the sight of Sarah leaning against a veranda post, gazing down at her. For some reason the blue of Sarah’s eyes was particularly vivid and Shelby felt her stomach flip-flop.

That’s why, Shelby thought as she gazed back.

She is beautiful, Sarah acknowledged. “I was just about to make some lunch. Would you like to join me?”

I wonder how long she’s been standing there, Shelby thought. How much did she see? And what is she thinking? “Thanks. I’d like that.”

“Come on then,” Sarah said, pushing herself upright. “You can help me throw a salad together.”

“Okay.” Shelby began climbing the stairs to the veranda, her right hand sliding up the wooden banister. She was aware of Sarah watching her, a slight smile on her face, and Shelby wondered if her every emotion was readable. God knows, she always did have a fair idea what I was thinking.

Sarah walked back inside the house and Shelby followed, wondering where the next conversation was going to take them.

For a few minutes there was no conversation, both women preferring the companionable silence as they moved about the kitchen, assembling the ingredients for their lunch. Shelby pulled out plates and cutlery, and began to set the table.

“How’s the report-writing going?” she asked, thinking that, at least, would be a fairly safe topic.

“Oh, pretty good,” Sarah replied as she arranged fresh croissants on a large plate. “I’ve done two, and one more to do this afternoon, and I’ll be done for the week, with any luck.”

“Anything interesting?” Shelby asked. Forks, knives, napkins.

“Mmmm, depends how you define interesting.” Sarah smiled. She found pretty much every case fascinating, and over the years she had learned the Shelby had a genuine interest in the court cases she became involved in. “Two pedophiles and a young man who was involved in a murder.”

Shelby looked up after she placed a range of condiments in the middle of the dining table. “Involved, as in, he did it? Or involved, as in, stood around and watched?” she asked.

“Well, that’s the bone of contention, of course,” Sarah answered. She walked around the kitchen island with the salad bowl in one hand and the croissants in the other. “There’s some sliced ham and a few different cheeses in the fridge, if you could grab those please.” Carefully, she placed the dishes on the table as Shelby walked past her. “He says he didn’t do the actual killing but was on the outskirts cheering on the ringleader.”

“How many were there?” Shelby put the plate of ham down next to croissants, then arranged the wedges of brie, camembert and Roquefort around the pastries. “God, I love this stuff,” she murmured as she sucked a morsel of the blue cheese from her thumb.

“Four.” Sarah returned to the kitchen, hooking two wineglasses with one hand as she pulled a bottle of red wine from the cupboard. “He’s the youngest of the group.”

Shelby sat down and waited for the older woman to take her place on the other side of the table. “What’s his history?”

Sarah picked up a napkin and unfolded it, placing it across her lap. “He’s 19, been here five years.” She handed Shelby the bottle opener, and watched as the brunette started peeling the plastic from the neck of the wine bottle. “He’s a Vietnamese refugee,” Sarah said in answer to Shelby’s unasked question. “Speaks hardly any English.”

Shelby poured some of the dark, rich red liquid into Sarah’s glass and then did the same for her own. “How have you been able to assess him?” she asked.

“I had an interpreter. It certainly made life interesting.” She reached for a croissant and broke it apart with her fingers. “Turns out he’s been abused pretty much all his life – physically, probably sexually, not that he was admitting that much.”

“But you think so?”

“Mhmm. He’s also got a drug habit. Heroin, for the past three years or so. And post-traumatic stress disorder. So he should do really well in prison.” The last was said with a wry edge that was borne of many years dealing with the justice system.

Shelby thought about that as she cut herself a portion of cheese, and piled some ham onto her plate. “You’re trying to get his sentence reduced?”

Sarah shrugged. “Yes. He’s been given nine years, which is the maximum for what he was charged with. He’s appealing the severity.” She took a bite-sized portion of croissant and popped it into her mouth.

“Will he win?”

Sarah chewed as she thought about her answer. “Honestly? No, I don’t think so,” she answered eventually. “The judge in the original case was trying to send a message, and there’s no reason to think the appellate judge will see it any differently, no matter what the psychologist says.”

“But you’re trying anyway.” A statement not a question.

Sarah smiled, matching Shelby’s grin. “I always try,” she said.

The two women concentrated on their food for a few minutes before Sarah decided to take the plunge.

“Was it a good party?”

Shelby shrugged nonchalantly. “As for as those things go, yeh, it wasn’t bad,” she said. “Everyone got very drunk, nobody talked about anything sensible at all and Lynne spent most of the night trying to fix me up with Karen.”

Sarah snorted. “I got the feeling that Karen probably didn’t need too much help in that department,” she said, softening her words with a smile, the casualness of which she didn’t really feel.

Shelby could feel herself blushing. “That’s true.” She pushed her food around with a fork for a few seconds. “I’m, uh, sorry if we woke you on the way in this morning,” she said.

“You didn’t,” Sarah lied. Another long silence. “So, are you going to tell me any of the juicy details or am I going to have to extract them one by one,” she asked. Might as well try and be happy for her, she decided.

Shelby looked sheepish at best, and uncomfortable at worst.

“There’s nothing to tell you, truthfully,” Shelby said, still not meeting her friend’s eyes. “She’s too young.” A glance up. “She’s a baby, Sarah – 15 years younger than me, for crying out loud. She barely knows she’s alive.”

Sarah smiled, remembering a certain 23-year-old who had sat in her office, full of a mix of arrogance and uncertainty about life. She wondered if it had occurred to Shelby that 15 years was exactly the gap between them, as well. So the age gap is an issue for her, she thought. Strike two against you, Sarah. Like the sudden shift in our relationship isn’t hurdle enough.

“Is that a bad thing, grandma?” she asked, with a playfulness she didn’t feel.

Sarah shrugged. “I don’t know. She wants to play it light and easy, have some fun, all of that.”

“And you don’t want to do that?”

“Oh, it’s not that so much,” Shelby answered. She bit down on the end of a celery stick and chewed thoughtfully. “It’s more that I kind of like the way things are for me right now, and I’m not sure ‘a bit of fun’ is worth disrupting that for.”

“Hmmm.” Sarah buttered another piece of croissant. “The safety of the status quo, huh?”

Shelby grimaced. “Well, when you put it that way, it sounds so … dull,” she said. “But yes, I guess so. Sort of.”

Strike three, Sarah.

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